The Willow in the Winds

   I fancy myself as being a fair-minded person. I attempt to listen to both sides of any argument before making my decision as to which one I agree with. This even goes for arguments that I may have already decided on. I keep an open mind and the option to change how I think on the table. This is popularly called flip-flopping, but is simply being adaptable. Why have we put such a negative spin on this quality? When we argue with another person, don't we hope that they may actually be listening to what we're saying and taking our points into consideration so that they may come to think the same as we do? Or at least offer their own compelling argument to counter. This happens all the time in our household. I will make a statement about what I believe to be a good course of action, and Erin counters by telling me what a jerk I am and that we're doing it a different way. Argument / counter argument and my mind is changed. In all seriousness though, Erin usually makes very good points and it's not hard for me to say, "You're right. Your way is better." If only politics were this easy.     The biggest difficulty facing America today is not the economy or unemployment or gay rights. It's not the wars we're fighting or abortion or gun control. The BIGGEST problem is that Americans are dividing themselves based on opinions that they won't concede, and don't want their elected politicians to budge on either. How sad it is when so many Americans are complaining of the partisan politics in Washington, but are angry if THEIR guy yields ground. When did we lose the ability to compromise? How did our ideals become so polarized?    As a self-proclaimed social liberal, and someone who generally votes Democratic, I may have surprised Erin recently when I told her that I would vote for Republican Richard Lugar to retain his US Senate seat, even against a Democrat candidate. "Why?" she asked. There were a number of reasons, but the big one was his ability and willingness to work WITH The other side. His primary opponent Richard Mourdock painted this willingness to compromise as a weakness though and beat out Lugar for the chance at the Senate seat. How terrible for all of us. A certain amount of flexibility is beneficial for everyone whereas an unyielding will leads to tyranny. 

Atomic Grace and the Nuclear Family

   Most scientists agree that the earth was formed around 4.5 billion years ago and that the earliest example of life shows up half a billion years later. Thankfully though, the world's not run by scientists and the rest of us can rest assured in the planet only being around 6000 years old like the Bible tells us. ( source: Here ) Whew! There's a tendency to feel infinitesimally insignificant when considering yourself as part of an history spanning 4,500,000,000 years. Six thousand is a much more emotionally manageable number, and of all the things I want for my newborn daughter (As opposed to oldborn? Is she Benjamina Button?) emotional stability sits high on the list. Still, I want her to have a sense of wonder as well; to feel the grandeur of the universe and all its magnanimous magnificence. Perhaps I can find some evidence that supports a number somewhere between those other two. Regardless of any world views though, my three day old little girl is a marvel.
    At a scale of size nearly incomprehensible, a minute piece of elementary matter with a negative charge circles around a larger, positively charged bit of matter. As a metaphor this may represent Avery and myself, but it more accurately describes a Hydrogen atom, the smallest and most widely spread element in the universe according to those pesky scientists. That Hydrogen atom may bond with another atom or atoms then to form a chemical compound or molecule like H2O, which we all recognize as water. Maybe that water molecule is part of a complex molecule though like a ribosome. Combined with other organelles like the  endoplasmic reticulum, the golgi apparatus and the nucleus, a ribosome helps to make up a cell. That microscopic cell is just one of a multitude that could make up the brain. Other organs and systems together make up her tiny little body. She in turn is a piece of the vast organism we call humanity and humanity is an aspect of the Earth's interwoven ecology. Together with its satellite moon, forming another model of Hydrogen, the Earth orbits the sun as part of the solar system. The solar system swirls around on the outer edges of the Milky Way galaxy and the galaxy hurtles through space at an astounding speed of 671,000 miles per hour, surrounded by the other galaxies of the Local Group. And who knows how much further the pattern of expansion continues? Perhaps there will come a day when we recognize that our Local Group make up a recognizable unit in an even bigger whole which is in itself a smaller piece of something else. The immensity of scope is incredible and beautiful. More beautiful yet, however, is the realization that my child is now a part of it all. Two cells, packed full of elementary atoms, merged and for almost ten months drew in more atoms, slowly building this new person. Maddeningly slow at times, but with an exponential speed for most of it, Avery shaped her existence from the same stuffs that surround all of us and make up the universe as a whole. If there is a God, and I don't advocate for Its existence, this is where we can find Them.

    This is all the further I'd gotten when Erin, at home with Avery, sent a photo of the little girl to my phone. All that I'd written was still true, but it was suddenly insufficient. Thoughts of atoms don't make my chest swell. The complexities of this reality fail to make my eyes tear up. No scientist I've ever heard of has managed to measure love. In his sermons, my own dad has spoken of the grace of God. He says that grace is undeserved, un-earned love; that God loves us in spite of what we do or are, and is unconditional. This is what a parent has for their child. I love my country for the ideals it was built on. I love Erin for her many attributes and traits. I love so many things in my life, but Avery I love simply because she is. I loved her from the moment I saw that first ultrasound image and heard her heartbeat. Nothing in my entire life though prepared me for the burst of love and joy I felt as I watched her emerge from my wife.  Covered in blood and other fluid, her head misshapen and discolored, I had never seen anything so awe inspiring and beautiful. I spent the length of the pregnancy jealous of Erin. She may have felt like a "beached whale," dealt with the nausea, and been denied all kinds of food and drink, but she felt every roll, kick and hiccough our daughter made. She carried her for the greater part of a year and grew an indescribable bond the likes of which I will never have with any of our children. Nonetheless, it does not diminish what I feel for Avery, and the pleasure I felt at the privilege of seeing her birth. I have felt the grace of God, and I see Its work in her features; Her long, slim fingers that grip my own, the small soft ears, and big eyes which even now track Erin and my movements. Somewhere deep inside my baby girl are the atoms that once belonged to her mother and I, and that has given we three a connection that nothing will ever lessen. I look forward with great anticipation to all of her firsts and seeing her grow and live the life that she chooses. I love you, Avery Marie and I'm so very proud of you.

Sweet Child O' Mine

We're expecting a baby. A fresh soul, pink and unblemished. A brand new girl awaiting a panoply of experiences to color her life with. She's a cool spring day; bright green leaves rustling in the breeze, blue skies with high white clouds at the edges. The sun flirting with my skin. She is the culmination of my families; unsullied love of parents, sweet ferocity of siblings, wild joy in generations of kin. She is the laughter of my bride, bright and keen, cutting away at my troubles. She is all that is fine and right in this world and without having even met her I love her beyond all these pretty words....

Sure It Tastes Good, But Can I Smoke It?

   On Monday, my sister Adriane let me know that she had just gotten to smoke a Cuban cigar. One of her friends had recently been to Aruba and on her return decided to take up casual smuggling. Adriane reaped the illegal benefits. Now, I'm known to enjoy the occasional cigar with friends and have sampled, if not a wide variety, then at least a respectable one. Still though, I'm not certain that my pallette is sufficiently deep in order to enjoy the highly prized and sought after Cuban. I wouldn't pass one up though should one with my name on it ride a raft to Miami or sneak a trip stuffed in the bottom of some white girl's carry-on. I'm just not sure I'd be able to tell the difference between a Cuban and a Puerta Rican. Regardless, what my sister's revelation did to me was cause my brain to catch a thought train to Whatthefuck Station.     Tobacco is an interesting plant with a long and rich history. Not just rich in a metaphorical sense, but also literal since at one point the leaves were actually used as money. My question however is, "How did it get to that point?" What exactly caused that first Native American to decide that tobacco had medicinal properties? And what about drying it? Who thought, "Hey these leaves are pretty bitter right now, but maybe if I hang them upside down for the next several weeks/months inside of this hut they'll be better." History is full of this kind of event; jumps in knowledge without any easily explainable reason.     Take the potatoe and legumes for example. Most fruits and vegetables are good when eaten raw; carrots, berries, apples, celery, etc. The potatoe and legumes, like peas, beans and peanuts, are only actually tasty AFTER being cooked. For that matter, what about meat? At some time in prehistory our ancestors went from bloody meat and raw fruit and veggie omnivores to putting their meals in the fire. What would have possessed them to make that leap? Some other culinary advances: grains ("This grass isn't very good to eat but I bet if we take enough of these tiny, little seeds, and smash them into a fine powder we could mix them with other stuff."), beer and whiskey ("OR we could boil these seeds for a while, add some other shit we don't know what to do with, let it sit for awhile then drink it."), cheese ("Damn it! The milk's gone bad again. Maybe if I add some vinegar and squeeze it all for awhile....") and coffee ("Fuck! This legume is even nasty when it's cooked. I know, I'll roast them, grind 'em up and pour boiling water through the grounds. Still doesn't taste good? Well, can we at least still drink the water?")    This kind of stuff doesn't just affect the FDA though. Animal skin/hair clothing makes perfect sense, but silk is another thing altogether. "Stringy secretions from a worm's butt? Yes please I WOULD like a shirt made of that. And matching pants."    The big one though, the species changer, was metal. At one time, we were creatures of wood, stone,  leather and bone. However, at some point 7000 years ago in what is widely believed to be seperate sites in Asia and Europe, some smart people discovered metals. Have you ever seen copper ore? It's a rock. Some are prettier than others, but it's still just a rock. The same kind of rock humans had been using for thousands of years to make into crude tools and forms. The same rocks strewn all over the place and suddenly these dudes realize that, "hey, if I put this very specific type of rock into a really hot fire it'll melt and I can do stuff with it." What?! Why decide to do that in the first place? It'd be a bit like you or I saying, "Let's bombard this piece of polypropylene with carbon radioisotopes, but leave those pieces of polycarbonate, polystyrene and polyethylene where they are." We know the plastic will become radioactive, but that's it. Why suspect that if we juice it enough it'll become anything other than a hot rock?    I don't really have a point to all of this. If you've been reading to find one, well, sorry 'bout cha. I just marvel at some of the events in our collective history that seem so simple and rudimentary to us now, but that required something else. Call it God's grace, alien interference or just sheer dumb luck, but whatever caused these leaps I find them incredible and enjoy just thinking about them. Look out! O_O More likely than not my next entry will be about the birth of my daughter Avery.